08/28/2003 - 1:05 PM

The job I accepted in April is not getting any easier. If anything, it's been getting more challenging as I attempt to juggle all of the needs that are in front of me. I feel like a breakthrough is at hand, but it just hasn't gotten here quickly enough. Besides a boss who is incapable of building business (only maintaining it), we've got a very reactionary upper management structure that clucks like Chicken Little everytime they think the sky is falling, and it doesn't make for the most conducive work environment. My own lack of organization doesn't help matters, either. Recipe for disaster, if you ask me, but I want to make this work. I'm making tabs for folders as I think about what to include here.

Should I have figured out what I want to do when I grow up by now? My gut reaction is yes, but if that's the case, what's holding me back? Fear of the unknown, perhaps? I won't lie when I say that I'm jealous of folks like Huntington and the Chief, who have gone back to school to get where they want to be, but with a mortgage and a car loan and other debts over my head, I don't feel like I've got the security to take that leap. Maybe I'll hit the Powerball jackpot this week and be able to lead a life of luxury from here on out. Or Matt could just keep me as his "boy". I could work with that...

What I'm Listening To: Tim McGraw - She's My Kind of Rain

First Word That Comes To Mind: lottery

What I'm Currently Reading: