01/28/2006 - 2:42 PM
A person I knew a few years back, whose opinion I truly respected, but for other reasons is no longer in my life, told me that as we travel through life, we will come across random people that we will see/feel/recognize/know a connection with. I find this to be the truth, and probably once every few months I actually experience it. Whether it's someone that I could SWEAR I know from somewhere, even though we've never met, or just catching someone's eye on the street and realizing there's more there than just a polite acknowledgement, I believe that I have connections with people all around me. This works into a bigger world view that everything going on around us is, to some extent, under our control. You wouldn't have walked down that street, catching that old lady's eye, unless you had made the decision to go to the grocery store. Even events that appear to be completely out of our control were still put in motion by someone around us, such as the child caught in a house fire because of the parent refusing to put in smoke detectors, or the car wreck with the couple where the husband didn't want to see the waterfall, but the wife insisted.I won't go as far as saying that we bring good or bad events upon us, but I will say that the energy that each of us put out for general consumption acts as a magnet for more of the same. It's easier for some people to put that positive energy out there to attract like-minded vibes (like myself), but we all have things in our lives that come to us easier than others. Even though I know not every situation will end up equitably for all involved, I still hold onto the hope that each situation will, and it's an ongoing struggle for me to accept that. My attempts to find a career that I can truly enjoy and not feel is work have failed miserably, and yet something in the universe is still looking out for me and taking care of me in my work life. I'm not the most sociable person on the planet, and yet I've attracted some of the most amazing people into my life that...
Sorry for the rambling...I guess what I'm trying to say in a nutshell is that too often, we focus on the failures in our lives, without giving ourselves the same level of praise for the things that have gone right. I know too many people that beat themselves up non-stop because they're single, or they aren't making a lot of money, or that they're out of shape, while they're doing great work with a charity in their community, and they're the glue that holds their family together, and they have become the person that everyone at work knows can solve a wide range of problems. Trust me when I say that I'm one of the big offenders on that, primarily because I have high expectations on myself in all realms of my life. One of my biggest struggles is to appreciate all the great things in my life, without completely debilitating myself over all of my "failures". It goes back to the idea of we are where we are because of the choices we have made. If I had gone to school for counseling my first time around in college, would I have ended up in Denver in 2001, which occured because of my need to get away from Atlanta, which I ended up in because of my career in retail? Probably not.
Patience, grasshoppa...
Matt is in Ft Lauderdale visiting our friends Dave and Charlie until Tuesday. Because he has been at his job for so long, he has much more vacation/personal time to take off than I do, so it works out that he'll take some trips on his own. Besides, he has friends and family EVERYWHERE. Last night was a quiet night at home, as was this morning. Probably going to do some cleaning around the place, and make a trip to Goodwill to drop off some outdated winter clothes. I've got a couple of feelers out there to do things with friends, but on a weekend like this, if they don't pan out, I'm not crushed. I just take it as a sign that I'm supposed to get caught up on my episodes of House or do laundry. Speaking of that, I've got a couple of loads to do later tonight.
What I'm Listening To: Andy Bell - Electric Blue
First Word That Comes To Mind: destiny
What I'm Currently Reading: Tori Amos - Piece by Piece
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