12/03/2003 - 8:05 AM
I wish it was possible to get more clarity and depth in my writing more often than I currently do. As I reread the entry from last night, a grin came to my face, and it became apparent to me that my emotions and feelings aren't as shut down as I feel they are sometimes. It's unreasonable for me to expect that every time that I pull the keyboard out and start typing from off the top of my head that I'll stumble across another revelation, but for some reason, that's the way I look at this. (Note to self...you'd give a friendly reminder to anyone else that they're already dealing with much more in a few revelations than most people will deal with over the course of years). Credit should be given for doing the homework, but you become greedy for more breakthroughs. There's also a question of whether or not you're actually doing something with the revelations, too, but that's another issue in itself.So where do I stand at the moment?
- Mom was upset this morning...didn't want me to leave, even though I've been here six days. She's lonely, and I hate the fact that she doesn't have any close friends here to really vent on. The closest she's got now is her sister, but my aunt lives in Tennessee, and I get the feeling that my mom doesn't like to take up a phone call to her to complain. I feel both honored and burdened that she feels okay with unloading it with me, though.
- My flight takes off in 4 1/2 hours, and I'll be glad to be home. Going to stay at Matt's tonight, and that will be the first time in over a week that I've seen him. I miss that boy so much right now. The smallest, most insignificant things will bring him to mind, and it always puts a smile on my face. He's studying for his GRE, but that will be done next Thursday (his birthday), and things should return to normal at that point.
- Actually the next week and a half will be extremely busy. I'm working the f/t job the next nine days in a row to get caught up, plus I've got a couple of p/t shifts this weekend, too. Need to make sure that I'm getting enough sleep in the meantime so I don't completely wear myself down.
Matt and I are doing dinner with a few friends next Thursday, then his company's Christmas party is Friday, and we're spending the night at the hotel where the party is. The following night is the actual party for Matt, combined with a holiday party. I will be so ready for peace and quiet on Sunday, but it's our first holiday season together, and I wouldn't pass it up for anything. He's going home for Christmas on the 19th, so we've decided to have our Christmas after the first of the year. I think we're holding off for money issues as well as timing, but I've already seen a few things that I want to get for him, so that excuse went out the window. Whatever the reason, I already feel like I've gotten the only gift I need...him.
- I am LOVING this Alicia Keys CD that I picked up yesterday (Chief, there's a copy on it's way to you with your other CDs).
Okay...I've got a couple of things to take care of here, and then it's off to the airport. Talk to y'all later...
What I'm Listening To: Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You
First Word That Comes To Mind: Order
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