09/10/2003 - 8:08 PM

Wow...my mind is a blur right now.

As I predicted, I was brought up on the carpet today. All because of a forgotten phone call, and I knew it. Was the phone call truly forgotten? Between you and me...partially. I sat at my desk my first day back after a discussion with my boss convinced that actions would speak louder than words, and I worked my ass off. Honestly, I don't know why I thought that, when all she wanted was to touch base and see what I planned on doing to improve my job performance, and that was a legitimate expectation.

In my mind, there are two ways that my boss could have handled this. She could have written me up for not being responsible enough and not showing enough respect to call her and discuss the conversation we had the week before, or she could have said, "I'm going to accept that this was an oversight, based on the effort you've put in the past week, and leave it at that." My own personal management style would have been the latter...hers is the former. I believe that she took my not calling as a personal slap in the face, and wanted to make an example out of it. When she says that she knows it's not meant to be disrespectful, I don't believe her.

So where do I stand? I'm keeping the job, and I'm going to make the most of it. However, I trust my boss as far as I can throw her, and any chance of undying loyalty she could have earned from me by cutting me some slack went right out the window. I'm not saying what has passed didn't deserve to be acknowledged. I guess I just hoped for a little more compassion. The probation is 60 days, and the note in my file can be removed in a year, but I truly don't think I'll hang around that long to find out. Too bad...there's a lot of good in this position.

Okay...enough. I'm headed down to Matt's to cuddle and relax and

What I'm Listening To: John Mayer - Bigger Than My Body (still!)

First Word That Comes To Mind: Cuddle

What I'm Currently Reading: