11/11/2003 - 11:48 AM

Took Cedric to the doctor yesterday to have the staples removed from his hernia surgery last week, and after we got back to his place, Malcolm called and said that he was making chicken and broccoli for dinner, and that I was invited. Matt was going to be there, too, so it sounded like a good time, and I just hung out at Ced's. Even fell asleep on the couch with his dog's head on my chest.

We headed over to Malcolm's, and everything seemed to be going well. Dinner was delicious, and everyone was getting along, and then we started talking about Atkins. Matt is very anti-Atkins for some reason, but that turned into being anti-ANY diet. From there, it got out of hand, with the remaining three unintentionally ganging up on Matt for what was appearing to be a double standard. He had just gotten done telling Malcolm to do the Zone instead of Atkins, and then says all diets are bad. Malcolm brings up the weight Matt lost a few years ago from exercising more and eating less, and said that constituted a diet, which I agreed with. Matt went into a defensive mode, and started saying things that we all knew he didn't necessarily mean.

A few digressions later, Matt packs up to leave (with the Apple Pie that he got at Safeway, since we were all expressing our support of Atkins), and Malcolm takes a parting shot that was completely uncalled for. It was crude, and insulted me in the process. Matt left without stirring things up anymore, which I was glad for, and then something amazing occurred. Malcolm and I bonded...not out of spite or anything like that, but simply because we both realized that we had been too hard on Matt, and started to dissect why it happened. Some would say he told me way too much, but I really appreciated it. He admitted that he was a prick to me when I first started dating Matt, and that was really touching to me. I didn't know that it would take such an emotional moment to bring that out, but I have no regrets about it.

So here's where we stand:

Matt doesn't want to talk to Malcolm for a few days, and is trying to understand why he reacted as sharply as he did. He's got other stuff on his mind, like his friend Paul's dad not having much time to live, both his father and myself being unemployed, and some other friendships that have issues. I don't allow that to be a good excuse for some of the things he said, but it does explain an emotional frailty that I sensed toward the end of the discussion.

Malcolm has apologized, but he is looking at possibly taking a step back from the friendship and dealing with some issues that he has had that stem back to when he and Matt dated several years ago. Although I'd hate to see that happen, I can understand why that would be a good thing.

Cedric was, for once, not the center of the argument. I think that genuinely offended him, and when he tried to express his reasons why he should have been (in our after-dinner decompression), Malcolm and I both kind of shot him down. Hopefully he'll realize that this is not about him, and not try to stir anything up.

And then there's me. I said a couple things I shouldn't have said in the context of the conversation; including the fact that I haven't been doing Atkins of late because I knew he would disapprove (shades of my former relationships coming out). There�s also a part of me that needs to call him out on just saying stuff he didn�t believe, simply to win a fight. That doesn�t fly with me at all. However, I recognize that I used the argument to get my point across about Atkins, and that�s something I should have dealt with before then if it concerned me. Yet another lesson learned�

Cedric and I are going to do lunch in a bit, and then I�m going to run a few errands. I might catch up with a friend of mine around dinner, but that�s about all I�ve got planned. Until then, I suppose I should get dressed and get something done around the house. At least I can say that this �vacation� has been slightly productive.

What I'm Listening To: Kenny Chesney - There Goes My Life

First Word That Comes To Mind: discuss

What I'm Currently Reading: