07/18/2004 - 9:12 PM

Anyone who says that the relationship they found themselves in was exactly how they planned it is LYING. True story. You�d have to be psychic, a mystic, and a time traveler to get all of those details right before it�s staring you in the face. So here�s the truth of the matter: when it�s right, it�s right. Don�t fight it or overanalyze it; just listen to the TRUE voice that knows. Not the one telling you what society thinks you should follow, or the one that your religion tells you to follow. Follow the one in your heart and soul that knows which path to take.

So now you�re wondering why I�m getting all deep and stuff on relationships. I just realized today that Matt is a good ways away from what I thought would be the love of my life, and yet he�s so good for me in ways I never even considered. It actually makes me wonder if my ideal could have actually been ideal in the first place.

The day started out with me getting to work at 6 AM, but there were too many people in, and I got to go home about 90 minutes later. Matt and I ended up meeting around noon to go look at rings, and also do some window-shopping for what we want to register for gifts. Just spending the day with him was wonderful, and we ended up answering a lot of questions, but also coming up with even more. Four hours and two malls later, we got back to his place to relax and read the paper, but that only lasted for about 30 minutes. Next thing you know we�re making out, and then we�re naked, and it was amazing. It�s probably been about 10 days since we last had sex, but that was only part of it. For the first time in over six months, he let me top him, and for the first time, it actually worked out. Not only did it �work out�, but we came at the same time, and it was one of the most euphoric feelings I�ve ever had during sex. To know that we had made love, and had been so in sync that we got to the peak at the same time, was simply mind-blowing. He kept laughing at me because the look on my face was of pure disbelief. It was grateful disbelief, but still disbelief.

I could easily get used to this.

Dinner followed shortly afterward, and then we got back to his place to watch Six Feet Under. INTENSE episode, folks. All I�m going to say is there is NO WAY that I will ever pick up a hitchhiker. Ever. Not gonna happen.

Five days until we head down to Fort Lauderdale for Danny�s 30th birthday. It�s going to be so nice to get out of town and relax. I�ve actually got a couple of movies I want to see while we�ve got some free time, too (especially since this time of year in South Florida is perfect for being in a building with massive air conditioning). Fahrenheit 9/11 is a must-see, as is Spider Man 2, but I�m really looking forward to the Bourne Supremacy. I just watched the Bourne Identity again the other night, and it�s got my appetite for Matt Damon kicking secret agent ass about as wet as it can be. And if there�s any need for him to be naked, even better.

All right...it�s bedtime. I will sleep EXTREMELY well tonight.

What I'm Listening To: Kevin Lyttle - Turn Me On

First Word That Comes To Mind: Amazing

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