01/18/2004 - 10:27 AM

40 questions and 40 answers about 2003:

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before? Got a passport, used a passport (but no stamp�argh), fell in love without concerns (although I think there�s always a concern, I probably got as close as possible with Matt), saw a lot of great musicians live (Tracy Chapman, eastmountainsouth, Nickel Creek, Alison Krauss & Union Station)

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Sadly, I kept mine for a few months, but then it went by the roadside (maintaining the weight loss from 2002). I did not make any this year, although I�m working on a belated game plan.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Only co-workers�saw a lot of babies this year, both in person and via digital pics.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit? Canada�Toronto in January, and Vancouver in October.

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003? Will power, a career I enjoy and am a good fit for, the new Janet CD, focus, six-pack abs (I need at least one of these to be a long-shot).

7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 23rd�the day I met Matt in person. It�s amazing the detail I can tell you about the six or so hours we spent together.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? When I look back, I don�t see a lot of achievements. There was a lot of restructuring for damage control, but not a lot of achieving. I think the past few years have spoiled me with the progress I�ve made, and having a holding pattern occur definitely bothers me. At the moment, even though it sounds clich�, I�m going with making things work with Matt. I reserve the right to come back to this as I dig into what really happened. [After getting through about 30 questions, it dawned on me that keeping this journal going for over a year has been a huge achievement for me.]

9. What was your biggest failure? Not making my promotion work at the f/t job.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? A couple of bouts with the dreaded cold, but that was about it.

11. What was the best thing you bought? My PDA�that�s kept me busy when I�ve needed to be.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? I saw a lot of people muddle through 2003 like I did. However, my friend Terry continues to break out of his rut from a few years back, and has a successful business of his own. That deserves a big thumbs up. Also, anyone who remained true to himself or herself without compromise gets a gold star from me, especially in these times where there seems to be a price to pay for speaking against the majority.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? No question�Dubya and the handlers around him that direct which way he goes.

14. Where did most of your money go? Bills�especially the past few months.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The trip to Toronto in January, and the trip to Indiana in October.

16. What song will always remind you of 2003? �Milkshake� by Kelis.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Happier

ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter

iii. richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you want to do more of in 2004? Be honest with myself

19. What do you wish you'd done less of in 2003? Eat

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Hopefully with Matt�only time will tell

22. Did you fall in love in 2003? And then some�

23. How many one-night stands? One�before Matt

24. What was your favorite TV program? Queer Eye�can�t help it

25. Do you hate anyone now who you didn't hate this time last year? Nope�although our current administration is trying my �love thy neighbor� belief

26. What was the best book you read? Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? eastmountainsouth

28. What did you want and get? Matt

29. What did you want and not get? A good-paying, satisfying job

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Return of the King (despite the sappy ending)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 35, and I didn�t do a thing (went to dinner with Matt 2 nights before, and then he went out of town)

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Less stress

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003? Too many shirts and ties at the end of the year.

34. What kept you sane? At the risk of nauseating everyone, Matt.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Howard Dean (although that�s faded a bit recently) and I�m still a Kylie fan

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Political accountability�or the lack of it

37. Who did you miss? My friends in Atlanta and San Francisco

38. Who was the best new person you met? In person, that would be Paul in Minneapolis. Through here, Jason gets the nod, although he would cringe at thinking we �met� through online chat.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003. The ability to hear your own inner voice and listen early on will save you so much pain and heartbreak.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. �Too many times we stand aside/And let the waters slip away/'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow/Has now become today�

There you go...not a lot of revelation, but a couple of nuggets buried in all of that.

Speaking of Jason, I chatted with him online Friday, and in his constant attempts to ask enough questions that I can't ask him any about himself (and I don't mean that in a mean way), he really helped me get a little perspective about what I'm going through at the moment. There's a lot bubbling below the surface, and I need to just keep poking and prodding at it until I can get it to rear its ugly head (sounds like a zit, doesn't it?).

Today will consist of watching football with Matt. Beyond that, I don't know. Jane and Patty are supposed to head over to Matt's later on to watch "The L Word" on Showtime, but I don't know if I'll hang out for that. I've got work to do...mental housework, I suppose you could say. This is a good start, but it's only a start.

What I'm Listening To: Garth Brooks - The River

First Word That Comes To Mind: List

What I'm Currently Reading: