08/11/2003 - 8:35 AM

The dreams have returned, and I believe it's because I'm actually well rested again. Between my three naps and two nights of eight hours, my mind appears to be running on all six cylinders again. So the freaky dreams with me panicking and running return with a vengeance.

Dream one is an oldie but goodie...the tornado dream. John is at home, and the sirens sound, the sky turns green or bright yellow and the winds pick up. I usually find myself in a challenging circumstance, such as on the top floor of an apartment building, and it becomes a matter of finding a safe place to stay. This is one of my few recurrent dreams, and although there's danger involved, I never truly feel threatened.

Number two was a new one. It was a bit of a zombie/undead kind of scenario, but people were only turned over one by one. We were being held hostage in a mansion, and once a night, one of the hostages would be hunted down and then changed. That dream was a little freakier than usual, and I woke up with my heart beating just a bit faster than usual.

Sadly, the most disturbing dream I had was also last night, and consisted of me giving up Ashton. Different home, but same circumstances. I woke up a little misty-eyed, and I have a feeling my last words were spoken out loud. Don't know if Matt heard them or not, but I hope he didn't. He might not interpret the comment �I love you, but I have to do this� the same way without the context.

It seems like Matt was having some interesting dreams of his own. I woke up in the middle of the night as he was mumbling something that sounded work-related, but I'm not sure. That could be interesting down the road, as I have a history of talking to other people in my sleep. My brother and I used to do that when we shared a room, and it freaked my mom out. Maybe that will just be another form of communication.

Speaking of another form, Matt and I did the oval tub thing last night, and it was terrific, as usual. So relaxing...I'm glad we don't do it too often so we can't take it for granted. Candles, bubbles, good company, George Winston playing in the background...could you ask for anything more? The topic of taking our sex life to the next level came up, and we're still okay with where it is. As we stroked each other, we worked with the image of me inside of him, and that pushed me over the edge. After we finished up, he returned to the topic, and I could tell he was looking for a little reassurance that I was okay with how things stood, which I am. However, I did admit that if we were still at the same spot at the one-year mark, we would have to revisit the issue. I truly don't believe that's an issue, but since we usually talk about full disclosure, it was only fair to put that out there.

The week should be pretty quiet...no travel, and work tasks seem pretty well under control. I decided I'm going to take a long weekend around Labor Day, but I'm not planning on traveling anywhere. It will be good to have a couple of days to catch up with friends, get out and maybe take a day trip somewhere, and be flexible. On top of that, Sept 2 will mark two years, and I plan to head up to where it all started, just as I did last year.

What I'm Listening To: Josh Kelly - Amazing

First Word That Comes To Mind: Monday

What I'm Currently Reading: