07/20/2003 - 9:28 PM

Problem is, it's CW, whom I had to do that with six years ago.

TW had lunch with CW today, and any promise of not discussing my personal life seems to have gone out the window. It also seems that CW has several opinions about my life that he felt compelled to share with TW, and I'm absolutely livid about it.

For example, CW decided to share with TW my "crisis of faith" with Matt a couple of months ago. Although I'm cool with TW knowing about it at this point, I never initially told TW about it because I knew it would lead to a "you never give anyone a chance" discussion. I could be mistaken on this one, but I believe I told CW that I wasn't going to say anything to anyone else about it because of that very reason. Grrrrrrrrrr...

The one subject that hurts the most, though, is Ashton. CW may be getting a consulting job in Washington, and TW asked if he was going to move there. CW said he would be there four days a week, and then would come home for three days. When TW asked what he was going to do about the dog, CW got defensive and asked "what should I do? Give him up like John gave up Ashton?" But it gets better...he doesn't feel that my travel for work or my split time between here and Matt's were valid excuses for me to find Ash a new home.

CW saw me the night that I brought Ashton to Laura's. He knows how torn up I was about the decision, and how much I love that cat. For him to say what he said to TW is just not cool. The fact that he agrees with me to my face, and then says the exact opposite to someone else isn't cool, either. I'm not sure which one I'm more pissed about.

Back in '97, as I prepared to move to Miami, CW's negativity got so strong that I couldn't handle it in my life, and broke all ties without so much as a forwarding address. By chance, we bumped into each other in Atlanta, and through a little work, managed to salvage a friendship. I have always felt guilty about the way I ended things the first time, but as time progresses in this second round, I can't help but wonder if I should have just kept walking the day I saw him in Atlanta.

The irony here is that I know CW expressed concern on what his status with Matt and MU would be if my relationship with Matt didn't work out. Little did he know, I'm now asking myself that same question, since he's "dating" MU, who is Matt's best friend. I know what I need to do, but I'm just trying to figure out how to go about it.

At the moment, I'm leaning toward telling him that, although I do still consider him a friend, I don't plan on telling him anything in confidence, and let him take it from there. He may just take it upon himself to end things right there and then, and the burden is off of me. As for TW, after all of this, he doesn't care if CW is pissed at him for telling me what was said. Sad...TW was really taking a liking to CW on a friendship level.

Any suggestions? This is way too soap-operaish for my liking right now. Maybe he WILL move, and then I won't have to deal with this anymore.

It COULD happen...though not likely.

What I'm Listening To: Pet Shop Boys - Suburbia

First Word That Comes To Mind: confidence

What I'm Currently Reading: