05/29/2003 - 2:11 PM
Damn...this job feels like one of those rides you were on as a kid where you'd spin yourself out of control, and then just hold on for dear life. It has just been one crisis after another the past few days, and it's starting to wear on me just a bit. And the tasks don't stop coming, either. I've got the president of the company in one ear, the VP I work for in another, and everyone else is trying to politely push them out of the way so I can do something else. This is NOT my idea of fun. I'm not a quitter, but if I was, a week like this would definitely have me packing my things.The drama continues between CW and TW, and I truly don't get it. CW has diarrhea of the mouth, and he can't stop it, for some reason. My well-intentioned actions to keep the peace between the two of them backfired (as they so often do), and I sit here wondering why I can't seem to learn my lesson in these matters. I firmly place the blame on CW, although TW hasn't been as direct in handling the situation as he probably should. In typical John fashion, I feel responsible because I introduced them and thought that they would get along well together. Little did I know that CW would want to date TW, even though he's not ready to, and TW didn't want that. Go figure...
In an attempt to get some clarity on what's going on with Matt and myself, I have planned a getaway for the weekend up to the Rockies. We're going to leave midday on Saturday, do the sightseeing thing on the way up, and then stay at a hotel Saturday night. Nothing like being trapped in a car for two days to discuss what's REALLY on your mind, huh?
If it sounded like I was leaning toward breaking up with Matt two days ago, it's much less clear to me now. There is so much that I like about the boy, and I truly wonder how valid my concerns are in the big picture. Having said that, if there is one thing I've learned from the past, it is to trust my gut instinct, since it's normally pretty close to the truth of the matter. However, my gut is pretty messed up at the moment, so I'm not even sure what it's telling me. I know the stress of my job is to cause for that, so if I can get things to calm down a bit here, maybe I can get things sorted out. Either way, the weekend away should be good. Nothing like the mountains to help me clear my head and create coherent sentences.
BTW, it's taken me a good three hours to get this entry out. My brain is FUBAR at the moment, thankyouverymuch.
What I'm Listening To: Everything but the Girl - Troubled Mind
First Word That Comes To Mind: Heavy
What I'm Currently Reading:
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