02/01/2003 - 10:15 PM

Two significant death notes today...

1. The last thing we as humans needed today was to see the footage of the Shuttle breaking up over Texas over and over and over again today. How shameless can we be to want to see a sad occurance such as that, not just once, but multiple times.

Having said that, I'm definitely not tore up over the tragedy, either. If anything, I think I feel more sorrow and grief for the folks that died in the pharmaceutical factory earlier in the week. Let's face it...if you make it to NASA and get to fly on the Space Shuttle, I think it would be safe to say that you've lived a life worth writing about. Obviously I didn't know the people on that flight, but I think it would be safe to say that they died doing something that they had always wanted to do. The folks that died in NC died doing a job that they had to do to put food on the table and gas in the tank. You can't help but wonder if their lives were fulfilled, or if they would have followed their heart's content had they been given longer to do so.

2. I went to see The Hours with RG tonight, and I'm truly impressed. The whole corrolation with living life bravely vs. conforming to what you're "supposed" to be is a strong part of who I am. Do I always live like that? NO. Do I strive for it? AT TIMES. Will I get there? I THINK SO.

I'm not giving anything away by saying that death was a major part of that freedom in the movie. I think it's been well-documented that Virginia Woolf drowned herself, most likely because of her mental illness. But would she have done that if someone had understood more clearly just WHAT she was going through? We will never know that, but what we do know is that we need to live our lives as if there are no restrictions on us. Like our lives depended on it. Because they do. To not live like you should, in one way or another, is not to truly live.

For those of you who have kept up over the past few months, it's safe to say that you know I have a tendency to question how I react to situations, and if I make the right decisions. It's my contention, though, that we don't make wrong decisions. We simply make decisions, and then work through them, learning lessons as we go. In a sense, we make the choices that we are meant to make.

I wonder if people who take their lives are so racked with regrets in their lives that they feel like they've wasted the life they've had, and want to start over. I'm sure it goes deeper than that, but that's a scenario I'd never considered until now. Any thoughts?

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